refresh and reload

I kind of suck at this second blog. I’m working on it, I promise.

This semester has been full of ups and downs and learning experiences. This wasn’t entirely unexpected; after all, I just moved across the country all alone, started two master’s programs, and am still learning about what exactly is wrong with my body. But all of this stuff happening means I’ve suffered from some bouts of depression, binge eating, feelings of aimlessness because of no longer having a job, cycles of excessive gym use followed by no gym use, learning a ton and loving it, learning a ton and feeling overwhelmed by how quickly I have to absorb it all, having a cluttered apartment with too many possessions, learning to manage money in chunks rather than regular paychecks, and feeling cut off from my family.

It’s a lot to handle, and I’m still not that great at it.

That said, I’ve had enough. I’m cleaning. I’m making piles of stuff to throw out, give away, resell. I’m writing again. I’m making more of an effort to be busy with friends and volunteering, and I’ve sent out tons of resumes and cover letters. As usual, I’m reading like crazy, and I’m getting better and better at it. I’m trying to keep myself interested in different kinds of exercise so that I don’t get bored. I’m striving to get into a better routine with cooking, and I’ve accepted that I need to give up refined sugar so that my stomach stops wrenching and having cravings and crashes. I have pulled out my keyboard a couple times and want to dedicate myself to learning at least one or two new piano pieces next semester. I have the Pimsleur course in Portuguese and plan on listening to it on the treadmill, thus refamiliarizing myself with the language and training my body to run and my joints to not suck so much.

But these steps take time and effort, and I’m also trying to finish my first semester of grad school strong. And I’m going home for a month, to finally see my family and hometown again, to refresh and reload, to finish my novel, to relax. So I’ll be back in the new year with a new purpose and dedication to this blog.

Until then.

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